Inner Hierarchy

Most of us were born and raised in cultures that value the head over the heart and, as a result, we place our own hearts below our heads in a sort of inner hierarchy of which we may not be conscious. What this means is that we tend to listen and respond from the neck up, often leaving the rest of our bodies with little or no say in most matters. This is a physical habit, which sometimes feels as ingrained as the way we breathe or walk. However, with effort and awareness, we can shift the energy into our hearts, listening and responding from this much deeper, more resonant place.

The brain has a masterful way of imposing structure and order on the world, creating divisions and categories, devising plans and strategies. In many ways, we have our brains to thank for our survival on this planet. However, as is so clear at this time, we also need the wisdom of our hearts if we wish to continue surviving in a viable way. When we listen from our heart, the logical grid of the brain tends to soften and melt, which enables us to perceive the interconnectedness beneath the divisions and categories we use to organize the world. We begin to understand that just as the heart underlies the brain, this interconnectedness underlies everything.

Many agree that this is the most important work we can do at this time in history, and there are many practices at our disposal. For a simple start, try sitting with a friend and asking him to tell you about his life at this moment. For 10 minutes or more, try to listen without responding verbally, offering suggestions, or brainstorming solutions. Instead, breathe into your heart and your belly, listening and feeling instead of thinking. When you do this, you may find that it’s much more difficult to offer advice and much easier to identify with the feelings your friend is sharing. You may also find that your friend opens up more, goes deeper, and feels he has really been heard. If you also feel great warmth and compassion, almost as if you are seeing your friend for the first time, then you will know that you have begun to tap the power of listening with your heart.

DailyOM

Empathy in Action

Sometimes we forget to take the time to recognize the richness that defines our lives. This may be because many of the messages we encounter as we go about our affairs prompt us to think about what we don’t have rather than all the abundance we do enjoy. Consequently, our gratitude exists in perpetual conflict with our desire for more, whether we crave time, convenience, wealth, or enlightenment. Yet understanding and truly appreciating our blessings can be as simple as walking a mile in another’s shoes for a short period of time. Because many of us lead comparatively insular lives, we may not comprehend the full scope of our prosperity that is relative to our sisters and brothers in humanity.

If you find taking an inventory of your life’s blessings difficult, consider the ease with which you nourish your body and mind, feed your family, move from place to place, and attend to tasks at hand. For a great number of people, activities you may take for granted, such as attaining an education, buying healthy food, commuting to work, or keeping a clean house, represent great challenges. To experience firsthand the complex tests others face as a matter of course in their daily lives, try living without the amenities you most often take for granted. This can be a great experiment to undertake with your entire family or a classroom. Understanding working poverty can be as easy as endeavoring to buy nutritious foods with a budget of $100 for the week. If you own a car, relying on public transportation for even just a day can help you see the true value of the comfort and conveniences others do without. As you explore a life without things you may normally take for granted, ask yourself for how long you could endure.

The compassionate gratitude that floods your heart when you come to fully realize your abundance may awaken pangs of guilt in your heart. Be aware, however, that the purpose of such an experiment is to open your heart further in gratitude and compassion. This awareness can help you attain a deeper level of gratitude that will allow you to savor and, above all, appreciate your life with renewed grace.

DailyOM

Tuning Tricks: Empathy and body-snatching

A great life trick in all ages has been the art of seeing things from another person’s perspective. Diplomats need this skill and people that can’t do it tend to be short on friends. Empathy is one of the most important elements of psychological health.

Many people start empathising by thinking: ‘If I were that person, how would I be feeling, what would I be thinking?,’ but the skill can be developed much further. In body matching, a person quietly copies the word and gesture patterns of someone else, following their precise body postures and motions until the movements feel easy. Once inside the ‘other person’s skin,’ so to speak, feelings and even thoughts will arise that can be uncannily accurate.

Similarly, Buddhist and Hindu statues were designed as body models, objects of contemplation for living a life congruent to an ideal. In fact, congruence can be learned. Think of a few things you love and, taking each in turn, say ‘I love this’ and notice where in your body you feel a response. This is your congruence signal. Saying the same about things you dislike will reveal your incongruence signal. Using these signals can enhance your intuition.

The ancient Greek doctrine of the humors took this further, identifying each organ with an emotion; the gall bladder with envy, the liver with courage or cowardice, the guts with instinctive feelings, and so on. In the same way, there are different qualities of mental activity: reasoning, imagining, believing, meditating and wanting. A good empath, like the Oracle at Delphi, feels these differences, and can effectively mind-read. Practice the tricks you’ve already learned and this skill will develop naturally.

From Mind Tricks, Ancient & Modern by Steven Saunders (© Wooden Books, 2008) – All Rights Reserved