First they were too posh to push, now they’re too posh to breastfeed. Meet the latest LA must-have – the wet nurse
Ah, Hollywood… Home to the stars, where excess is the norm and for every A-list demand, a service is swiftly provided. These days, it seems you can hire someone to do absolutely anything: from butlers and chauffeurs, to ‘mannies’ and live-in gourmet chefs – the Jolie-Pitts have even reportedly hired a ‘philanthropic advisor’ to tell them which developing country to fly to next. The fact is, if you’ve got the cash, there’s no reason why you can’t get the staff. And now, believe it or not, you can actually hire a woman to breastfeed your baby. Yes, the generous-breasted wet nurse of the 18th century is back. Though, this time, she’s not in bloomers.
Bosom buddies
Certified Household Staffing (CHS) is a Beverly Hills agency that provides wealthy clients with staff such as bodyguards, valets, housekeepers and nannies. It also claims to have up to 100 wet nurses on its books, all of whom were recruited via the agency’s website. Working across the US, it matches clients who might be in New York, with wet nurses as far away as Illinois. The agency then organises a phone interview, a face-to-face meeting and full medical checks, all at the client’s expense.
Once given the green light, the real fun starts, with the wet nurse moving in with the family for however long she is needed (usually between six and 18 months). Depending on the client, she might be fully integrated into the family, or asked to keep her distance and to wear a formal uniform. She’ll generally have her own room in the house, often be provided with a car and her salary could be up to $1,000-$2,000 a week.
E! Entertainment Television‘s showbiz reporter Ashley Pearson isn’t surprised a service like this has popped up in Hollywood. ‘Celebrities, more than anyone, are likely to want this kind of thing,’ she says. ‘What breastfeeding does to your breasts is no secret. You’ve got certain celebrities admitting that it has absolutely destroyed their breasts.’
And in a job where time equals megabucks, the sheer practicalities of breastfeeding don’t make sense for many Hollywood mums. ‘Pregnancy and everything that comes with it is a huge commitment, especially for a star, because it’s a year of their lives that they can’t work,’ says Pearson. ‘I mean, you can’t be playing a role and have your breasts start leaking every time you hear a baby crying.’
The difficulty for these actresses is that their thirties are often their busiest time and they simply don’t want to miss out on opportunities. For some, such as Sarah Jessica Parker and Julia Roberts, that means delaying motherhood until the last minute; others choose adoption. ‘I think, as more celebrities go down the adoption route, wet-nursing is going to become more necessary,’ adds Pearson. ‘Many still want their children breastfed due to the proven advantages.’
Milking the profits
Would-be wet nurse Tabitha Trotter, 40, from San Diego, has recently signed up to Certified Household Staffing. She’s been married for 20 years and has three children (Rick, 19, Samantha, 18, and Emma, four). In the last decade, she has given birth to seven surrogate babies. Her most recent was born in December and is now living with his genetic parents in London.
By wet-nursing standards, Tabitha is something of a prize lactator. By pumping four or five times a day, she expresses two gallons of milk a week. ‘Everybody finds it surprising how much milk I produce,’ she laughs. ‘When my daughter comes back from college, she demands to see the milk cartons in the refrigerator to make sure she knows what she’s getting!”
At the moment, Tabitha freezes her milk and gives it to local families who know about her abundant supply. ‘I meet them walking up my driveway. They come with cooler bags and take it home,’ she says. Any leftover milk she donates to a milk bank (similar to a sperm bank, where women can buy frozen breast milk).
Stay-at-home mum Tabitha first considered a career in wet-nursing when she read about CHS in an article in the San Diego Union Tribune. ‘I decided to register on the website, but I didn’t hear anything for three to four weeks,’ she says, ‘so I assumed I didn’t qualify, but then I got a call and we’ve been discussing my options ever since.’
As Tabitha is married with a four-year-old, she doesn’t plan to live-in as a wet nurse. ‘I think the best scenario for me is to pump milk, freeze it and provide it to a family daily or three times a week. I’ve told CHS I’m prepared to drive 30 miles a day to get to a client. I’ll have to continue to pump milk until the agency contacts me to say I’ve been matched. I’ve no idea how much money I can make out of this, but it would be nice to be paid for my milk instead of just giving it away.’
Like all wet nurses, Tabitha will be required to keep schtum about her A-list employers. ‘It’d be exciting to get close to a celeb, but I’ve provided milk to celebrities before (the families of the surrogate babies I gave birth to) and I’m not a star-chaser, I’m a wet nurse. Most of my friends and family know I’ve worked with celebrities in the past, and they understand the reason for confidentiality and respect it. It’s not my goal to enter “that” world. My goal is to give the baby the healthiest beginning possible.’
While the idea of letting another woman’s baby suckle is bizarre to most of us, Tabitha has no qualms. ‘I’ve done it with friends’ kids; I’ve done it with my sister’s daughter. Once a friend came to stay with me and was having a hard time breastfeeding her four-month-old. She said to me, “Please nurse my baby.” Even though my breasts were dry, after the baby latched on and sucked, the next day I was dripping breast milk. And so we just kept passing the baby back and forth. She’d do the dinner and I’d nurse the baby.’
For Tabitha, any breastfeeding brings inner calm. ‘It makes me feel good mentally because it actually makes me sit down and relax. The dishes can wait. Cleaning the bathroom can wait. I just sit down and feed the baby. I love it.’ So does she bond with all the babies she feeds? ‘No, not unless it’s my own, when I use breastfeeding as an opportunity to sing to her, talk to her, to marvel at all her tiny features. But when I breastfeed someone else’s child, it’s a job. There’s no counting eyelashes – I’m watching TV or reading.’
A secret society
Robert Feinstock, owner of Certified Household Staffing, had no idea how popular wet-nursing would be until he first advertised it on his website three years ago. ‘We have thousands of staff of all disciplines on our books. Wet nurses are among the fewest, although since we’ve been running the service, there’s definitely been an increase in demand.’ According to Feinstock, it is actors, TV anchors and business people who are hiring wet nurses. ‘Some are celebrities, most are multi-millionaires,’ he claims, ‘and wet-nursing is a very private profession.’
CHS recruits all its lactating women via the net. Once placed, wet nurses are obliged to sign confidentiality agreements. Candidates are generally women aged 20-30, who have recently given birth to a first child, so they are already breastfeeding and continue to nurse their own baby as well as the client’s. ‘Typically the woman will have never done it before and will be in desperate need of money. A lot of them are single mothers or women who have just lost their own baby,’ explains Feinstock.
Breast is best
Until a friend introduced Tabitha to milk banks, she used to express her milk then pour it down the sink after handing her surrogate babies over to their parents. ‘I felt so guilty because, to me, breast milk is liquid gold,’ laments Tabitha. And leading experts agree. Despite advances in formula milk, breast milk is universally considered superior. Research points to breastfed babies having lower rates of infant mortality and growing up to be healthier children. Breast milk has even been linked to higher IQ.
Lactation consultant Katy Lebbing agrees breast milk is ‘massively healthier’, explaining that for every one breastfed baby hospitalised there are 10 formula babies hospitalised. ‘People who don’t want to (or can’t) breastfeed – and who have the money to hire a wet nurse – will do so because they know it’s giving their baby the best possible start in life,’ she says. ‘Sure, they could get milk from a milk bank but, like with anything, fresh is better than frozen.’
As cosmetic-surgery capital, there’s another reason for the surge of wet-nursing among California’s elite. London surgeon Norman Waterhouse, specialist in breast augmentation, confirms, ‘With any breast surgery you run a minor risk of not being able to breastfeed. If your implant is inserted via the nipple you stand more chance of dividing breast ducts, so it’s possible you might have an impeded ability to breastfeed.’
Many celebrities do opt for this kind of implant, to reduce the amount of scarring, and Pearson points out that most Hollywood women have gone under the knife. ‘The vast majority of actresses have implants, even the ones who don’t have very big breasts,’ she says, ‘because implants keep the breasts high. These women can wear great gowns with low necklines without bras.’
Babies at risk?
Gabrielle Palmer MSc, author of The Politics of Breastfeeding (Rivers Oram Press, £9.99) and lecturer at the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, warns anyone hiring a wet nurse to do proper medical checks. Regarding HIV, she says the only way to be completely safe is if your wet nurse remains celibate. ‘With HIV, if you are sexually active, you’re at risk all the time,’ she insists. And it’s not just HIV. Hepatitis, TB, herpes and thrush, plus any drugs or medication the wet nurse is on, can be transmitted in her milk. ‘There has to be a great degree of trust, knowledge and responsibility when it comes to wet-nursing,’ says Palmer.
As well as medical issues, there are psychological risks too, according to Dr Nadja Reissland, a developmental psychologist at Durham University. ‘When you hire a wet-nurse, that special breastfeeding bond between mother and baby is taken out of the equation,’ she says. ‘It’s fine for a baby to develop close bonds with more than one person, but if the mother ends up feeling inadequate or jealous of the wet nurse, those negative feelings could impact on the baby. Not to mention the emotional trauma that the baby and the wet nurse could suffer when she leaves the family.’
Where LA leads, the UK tends to follow. So could wet-nursing ever catch on over here? Celebrity mum Melinda Messenger, who breastfed her three children, thinks not. ‘I would never consider hiring a wet nurse to breastfeed my baby, for the simple reason that it’s my job to feed my child,’ she says. ‘Breastfeeding is an incredibly bonding time, so to deny yourself and your baby that is just plain crazy.’ Crazy it may be, but isn’t that just so LA?
Meet the LA baby team
How many people does it take to have a Hollywood mini-me? As many as you can afford, it seems…
The baby planner: New on the scene, the planner helps the family choose a programme of antenatal classes and draws up a birth plan including a list of all the baby equipment the family might need to buy.
Ker-ching! $250 per hour
The childbirth educator: Advises the parents on all aspects of labour and delivery. Teaches them about antenatal nutrition, exercise, relaxation, drugs/interventions, stages of labour and comfort-enhancing techniques.
Ker-ching! $275 for an eight-week course
The lactation educator: Holds classes for couples on the benefits of breastfeeding. She’ll use dolls and videos to demonstrate what position to put the newborn in.
Ker-ching! $85 for a three-hour class
The lactation consultant: Someone who assesses mother and baby and diagnoses any problems. She’ll help with proper ‘latch-on’ and give advice.
Ker-ching! $125 for a home consultation
The birth doula: Helps the family by educating them before the birth and staying throughout labour. For example, if the mother wants a drug-free birth, the doula will help relax her, using massage and visualisation. Growing more popular in the UK, too.
Ker-ching! $1,200-$2,000 per birth
The postpartum doula: More of a helper than a nurse, she’ll come into the home and help the family bond with the newborn. She’ll often make meals (she may even be a gourmet chef), do light house-keeping and baby laundry. She’ll also help the mother to understand the baby’s cues. She might be with the family for 24 hours or several months.
Ker-ching! $25-$45 per hour
The baby nurse: Often a registered nurse, her sole duties include taking care of the baby’s needs. While mum takes it easy, the nurse gets to work battling: bathing, nappy-changing, dressing, feeding, doing laundry and looking after the baby’s room.
Ker-ching! $2000-$3000 per month
Leo Bear for eve magazine
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