You don’t have to be a megastar to act like one. Here’s our guide to making the most of your bump in front of your adoring public – well, your friends and family anyway!
Those celebs are a funny bunch, aren’t they? Rather than do this pregnancy lark the traditional way (get knocked up, tell your mates, scoff your face and scream down the labour ward) they have to be different. But what would happen if we ordinary folk started to act like those A-list mamas-in-waiting? Heck, you’d have to…
Refuse to confirm that you’re pregnant
Pregnant? Moi? Christina Aguilera kept mum for months. Isla Fisher also determinedly dodged the rumours, as did bump from the block Jennifer Lopez. The de rigueur way to go public is via a loose-lipped glitterati pal. Paris Hilton blabbed about Christina, while it was designer Roberto Cavalli who let slip about J Lo.
If you fancy being a bit mysterious, get your mum to agree not to race out to tell the neighbours, Auntie Vi and everyone at the bus stop that she’s going to be a grandma before you’ve even put the phone down.
Doing it your way: If you’d prefer to keep your news secret for a while, invest in a couple of clever tunics – try funmum.com.
Pose naked with your baby bump on a magazine cover
It’s the one time in an A-lister’s life when ‘big’ is truly beautiful. Demi Moore set the bump rolling, followed by megastar mums-to-be such as Britney Spears, Cindy Crawford, Myleene Klass and, yes, that girl again, Christina Aguilera.
If you get a sudden urge to share your stretchmarks and saucer nipples with the world, there’s always the local paper – although the editor will probably put your offer down to hormones and send you home with a free keyring.
Doing it your way: Get your partner to take some nice snaps and copy Christina and co’s flattering poses. Or immortalise your bump in plaster with a belly casting kit from everlastingcastings.co.uk (from £19.99).
Launch a cute range of baby clothes
Not content with mooching round Mothercare, Gwen Stefani and socialite Princess Marie-Chantal of Greece are among the yummy mummies who design exclusive togs for top tots.
You could have a go yourself, of course, although fashion-forward mums might be reduced to seeking out your section in the local pound shop.
Doing it your way: Launch your own clothes for doting relatives and friends by getting pics of your little superstar printed on T-shirts at your local Snappy Snaps store (snappysnaps.co.uk).
Endorse a range of maternity wear
Emma Bunton worked those pregnancy curves modelling the Mamas & Papas winter collection. While Eva Herzigova swapped Wonderbra’s ‘Hello Boys’ for fronting Gap’s maternity line.
Your range might be a bit more realistic – bulge-friendly baggy jumpers and ‘seen better days’ leggings.
Doing it your way: You’ll be the envy of your mummy mates if you treat yourself to a glam outfit from Formes (call 0871 200 2335, or visit formes.com)
Work the red carpet with a bump/bosom
Halle Berry paraded pregnancy va-va-voom in Dolce & Gabbana at the Rome Film Festival. Christina Aguilera sported a short, green velvet number for a Hollywood party. And Cate Blanchett stepped out in super-clingy LBD and killer five-inch designer heels at an Australian premiere.
You could try turning up at your office do in a frock that laughs in the face of comfort. But make sure you’ve got ‘im indoors to hang on to if swollen ankles and strappy shoes prove a fashion moment too far.
Doing it your way: Treat yourself to a glamorous party outfit from the maternity range at Next (next.co.uk).
Choose an, um, unusual baby name
Celebs don’t bother with baby-name books. Hence Geri Halliwell’s ‘Bluebell Madonna’ or supermodel Elle Macpherson’s ‘Aurelius Cy’. As a mere mortal, however, you have to be careful not to heap humiliation on junior in the playground. But if Princess Tiaamii has half the feistiness of her mum Jordan, there’ll be no teasing there!
Doing it your way: Go to gurgle.com for fun with the babynamer tool. There won’t be many other Aballachs, Anguyshs or Aarics in the maternity ward.
Yep! We’ll take that!
Here are a few posh perks we’d love to get our mitts on…
£££ The maternity nurse
Darling, stars don’t do getting up five times in the night or, eugh, nappies. Neither would you if you could let the help take the strain.
£££ The designer baby gear
The cardie your nan knitted is adorable, really it is. But a pile of exclusive baby gear for your wee fashionista-to-be wouldn’t go amiss, either.
£££ The personal trainer
No sooner are celebs out of the paper knickers than the baby belly is history. Yours would be too with a devoted coach instead of that exercise DVD gathering dust under the telly.
£££ The dedicated 24/7 chef
Forget the pizza delivery on speed dial, a cook to do your bidding would be bliss. ‘Some delicious superfoods with folic acid and stuff, please. And maybe a few, y’know, healthy chips on the side.’
Kerching!
Who knew having a baby could be such a nice little earner?
£££ Exclusive first photos of baby Watermelon in a celeb mag: up to £1.5 million.
£££ Publishing deal for the ‘mummy diaries’ (Yes, Ms Celeb, you are the first woman in the world ever to have a baby): from £250,000.
£££ Endorsing posh baby clobber: from £1 million.
£££ Becoming the face of mum-friendly cosmetics: £1.5 million a year.
Sharon Wright, Mum & Baby magazine
The Daily Waffle 