15 Classic Goth Types

1. Sister-Goths
Stuck-up Sisterites, so to speak. They love everything that the Sisters of Mercy have done and loathe bands like Merry Thought and Star Industry, because the original is always the best. Lately it is not known what they listen to, beyond SoM. (Anyone knowing, please contact us!)

2. Military-Goths
By day they work in the military, the police, private security, traffic regulation, etc, and by night they go about clubs looking dour. They reveal neither their identity nor their listening preferences. They’re classified!

3. Vampire-Goths
They love blood, but there has never been a drop in their stomachs. Their image is inspired by vampires of all clans. Favourite bands include Nosferatu, Two Witches, Vampire State Building, and anything that looks and sounds suitable for Halloween.

4. Baby-Goths
The usual ‘jailbait’ (male or female) that turn up at the clubs. They’re not old-timers, but they’re very young and dance to anything they heard last week and agreed with them. Every old-timer ought to take a baby-goth under their wing and bring them up properly.

5. Bi-Goths
Bisexual image, but no further! I hope the sight of a male in lipstick and eyeliner doesn’t offend your aesthetic. Why a man dressed and made up in semi-drag is bi while a woman in skinny jeans, combat boots and tons of bravado isn’t, escapes me. For more information on the species, see the masters, London After Midnight.

6. Semi-Goths
Now, whether they are or not, they don’t know themselves! Seven days in a week… one of them turns out goth, another rave, another metal, and kalamatiana at Easter. Not to mention that they turn up at clubs and disorient the rest. One wonders if they entered the wrong place, and suddenly you see them dancing to Sisters! Tsk tsk tsk!

7. Beta-Goths
Cousins to the above. They’re just dipping a toe into the scene. The funny thing with beta-goths is that, in the latest version, the party has the flavour of a wake. They mooch into the club, sit down, digest the kollyva and, on getting home, wonder if their version will sell in the future.

8. Old School Goths
Those who simply will never accept the fact that Bauhaus have disbanded.

9. New School Goths
The first to know about the Bauhaus live reunion. They know all the newest happenings about the scene, but the goth past is fine print to them. What do you want with the Sisters and the Mission dudes, when Merry Thoughts and Funhouse are around?

10. Neph-Goths
Those stuck to Fields of the Nephilim and their side projects (Rubicon, Nefilim). They devotedly collect anything Nephilim out there and the only thing they lack is McCoy’s cigarette stub from their last live show. A species that must not be extinct! You will know them by their Nephilim tattoos, T-shirts, sweatshirts, jackets… now rings too!

11. Metal-Goths
This is the future of gothic music we’re talking about. Metal-goths are the likeliest candidates for future gothship. Mixing metal elements into the genre has grown (see Moonspell, Nefilim, etc). It is a fact that metal supplies goth with human power and goth supplies metal with musical material. The particular mix covers plenty of dance floor area in goth clubs. But don’t let me see abominations like goth dancing in Manowar and Helloween T-shirts. We said okay to crossover, but a bit of respect doesn’t go amiss!

12. Industrial-Goths
Dark industrial, dark ambient, pure industrial, dark techno, it doesn’t matter. We’re all one family, and the places to have fun are few. Most goths like Ministry, but most ‘industrialists’ don’t like Fields of the Nephilim. Draw your own conclusions.

13. Punk-Goths
All those who sank their roots deep into punk and then veered towards more gothic paths, or who simply hang out at goth clubs because where else is there for them to go?

14. Electro-Goths
Apoptygma Berzerk, Funker Vogt, Project Pitchfork… or Kraftwerk, Front 242, Depeche Mode, Anne Clark… or something like that. Now in Fading Colours too! Very nice kids, with oodles of humour.

15. Net-Goths
/join Hellas, /join Gothic, /join Vampires, or any other IRC channel they sit patiently on, waiting to see light on the status list and share their pain. Most don’t know that the user they’re Querying was sitting by them at the club they hit. Some day we’ll find out we all know one another, but we won’t know one another’s real names. Until then, go surf some official homepages. EXIT.


6 Responses to “15 Classic Goth Types”

  1. 1 A. April 19, 2010 at 2:37 am

    (Anyone knowing, please contact us!)
    It should be something of the same time and similar music, like Bauhaus or The Cure.

    And damn good text, btw. :)

  2. 2 Miranda Adria April 21, 2010 at 2:42 am

    LOL. A classic list. I’d definitely fall under the Old School Goth category.

  3. 3 Avis habilis April 21, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    According to this list, I’m electro-goth. For some reason this unsettles me greatly.

    I remain a metal-goth, and I’d consider it a compliment even without the whole future of the genre view. Plus, I wouldn’t be seen in a goth club in any other kind of band T-shirt but Paradise Lost. So there.

  4. 4 BabyBat October 5, 2012 at 5:05 am

    Hey, I am a Baby-Bat. Can anybody teach me how to be like one of you? I am just starting 7th grade and an being made fun of. I need a bit o’ help, please.

    Hey right back, baby! You need some pointers, all right, so be prepared to do some reading/net surfing. A good place to start is A Study of Gothic Subculture (http://www.gothicsubculture.com/index.php), and a good way to go on is looking up the names you see mentioned there. Look up bands on YouTube, check your library. Goth is a great journey and there’s always more to find out. Enjoy!

  5. 5 DigitalGeisha April 27, 2013 at 9:40 pm

    You forgot glitter, cyber and raver goths

  6. 6 Not Goth October 14, 2013 at 10:48 pm

    [quote]1. Sister-Goths
    Stuck-up Sisterites, so to speak. They love everything that the Sisters of Mercy have done and loathe bands like Merry Thought and Star Industry, because the original is always the best. Lately it is not known what they listen to, beyond SoM. (Anyone knowing, please contact us!)[/quote]

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