Christmas carols and Waits
Although there are many Christmas carols that come from earlier or later periods, it was the Victorians who were to create – or recreate and embellish – most of those that remain favourites to this day. Because the Victorians were great enthusiasts for parlour entertainment, carols would be sung by the entire family standing around the piano. Group singers would also sing in the streets or from house to house and this grew from a much older practice known as ‘The Waits’.

The Waits originated in medieval times and there is some speculation as to their earliest beginnings. Were they a band of musical night watchmen? Did it refer to a group of woodwind instruments, precursors of the oboe? Were they a group of wandering Scottish minstrels? Whatever their origins, by Victorian times, the Waits were groups of musicians who performed in the two to three weeks before Christmas, playing out of doors and usually going from house to house asking for donations. But they soon went from being the only authorised groups to one group of singers among many, much more ad hoc, bands of friends, a precursor of carol singers. By the end of the Victorian era, more and more carollers appeared on the streets singing the new carols which were soon to become part of traditional Christmas but, while their star rose, that of another even older tradition fell.

The Mummers
The last – and perhaps most interesting – of the groups of people who roamed the streets at Christmas, offering entertainment and asking for alms in return, were the mummers. As with the Waits, there is some confusion about their name. Theories include derivation from the Danish ‘mumme’ or the Dutch ‘momme’ meaning ‘a mask’ or simply from the mumbling sound of their speeches, coming as they did through the masks they wore.

The mummers were still thriving in early Victorian times but, as the period went on, the practice began to die out. They had something of the mystery play about them – but their origins were most certainly pagan rather than Christian. Chambers considers those origins to be the Roman Saturnalia, the midwinter festival that was to be replaced by Christmas, and celebrated by masquerading, dressing up and general merrymaking. There is much more than a passing resemblance to the festivities of Mardi Gras before Lent and indeed, in medieval times, the mummers would perform from All Hallow’s Eve (31st October) all the way through to Easter. By the Nineteenth Century, however, they were very much a form of Christmas entertainment – though their performances were based on purely pagan themes.

Parlour Entertainment
Of course, fashions changed considerably during the Victorian period and much of this earlier, perhaps rather religiously dubious, entertainment fell from favour. While many entertainments – Waits, wassailers, carollers, mummers – would still come to the Victorian family’s door, the family itself was more than able to provide plenty of its own amusement. Almost every family had a piano and several members able to play it. Other popular instruments included violins, flutes and harps – so musical evenings, often with singing and dancing, were commonplace. And, while this kind of parlour entertainment would have been popular all of the year, at Christmas it had a particular importance.

As with so many Victorian ‘traditions’, Charles Dickens played a large part in establishing it. Christmas was certainly a time that Victorian families would gather together – as we do today. And Dickens celebrated this image repeatedly in his Christmas stories, particularly in Household Words and All the Year Round. In these stories, families and friends would congregate around a roaring fire – perhaps not surprisingly in those cold and draughty Nineteenth Century houses. The company would sing, perform music and plays, mime (charades were popular), read poetry and tell stories. Sometimes, the stories would have a religious theme but the Victorians simply adored anything with fairies or goblins, ghosts and mysteries. The first English translation of Grimms’ Fairy Tales appeared in 1823 and Charles Kingsley (The Water Babies), Christina Rossetti and Lewis Carroll were all very popular at the time.

Anna Selby, The Victorian Christmas

As Christmas approached, so did the festive spirit. This took many forms – some of which had little to do with Christianity but harked back to earlier pagan practices.

On the dole
21st December was St Thomas’ Day, which fell on the shortest day of the year, the winter solstice. Because of the saint’s charity to the poor, it became a custom that was still marked in Victorian times for the poor to ‘go a-gooding’ – that is, to visit their richer neighbours and beg money or provisions for Christmas. In different parts of the country, the practice was also known as ‘mumping’ or ‘doleing’. In Staffordshire in 1857, gooding was still going very strong. Old women and widows and representatives from every poor family would make their rounds, begging for alms. The clergyman was expected to give a shilling to everyone who came for charity.

Wassail, wassail
Wassail was another pagan tradition that the Church incorporated. The word derives from the Anglo-Saxon ‘wes hal’, meaning literally ‘be whole’. The wassail itself was a bowl of steaming hot ale to which sugar, spices or the soft pulp of roasted apples could be added. The bowl would be taken around the parish – each house would be toasted and then expected to replenish the stock of wassail. The Church glossed over wassail’s pagan origins, using it, instead, as a symbol of peace and goodwill unto all men. The primmest of the Victorians decided to change its character still further and call it the ‘vessel cup’ instead of wassail cup, thus giving it a hint of the communion service. However, it would still be taken around from door to door, accompanied by carol singers and ‘advent images’ – dolls representing the Virgin Mary and Jesus – and each household was expected to make a contribution to ensure their good luck throughout the coming year.

The Victorians had a whole range fo Christmas drinks, related to wassail, in that they were usually spicy, sweet and served hot. Wassail was based on ale but there was also mulled wine and punch that could combine wine with spirits. Eliza Acton in Modern Cookery for Private Families had several suggestions for the hot, festive drink:

Mulled Wine
(An excellent French receipt.)
Boil in a wineglassful and a half of water, a quarter of an ounce of spice (cinnamon, ginger slightly bruised, and cloves), with three ounces of fine sugar, until they form a thick syrup, which must not on any account be allowed to burn. Pour in a pint of port wine, and stir it gently until it is on the point of boiling only: it should then be served immediately. The addition of a strip or two of orange-rind cut extremely thin, gives to this beverage the flavour of bishop. In France light claret takes the place of port wine in making it, and the better kinds of vin ordinaire are very palatable thus prepared.

Oxford Receipt for Bishop
Make several incisions in the rind of a lemon, stick cloves in these, and roast the lemon by a slow fire. Put small but equal quantities of cinnamon, cloves, mace and allspice, with a race of ginger, into a saucepan with half a pint of water: let it boil until it is reduced one-half. Boil one bottle of port wine, burn a portion of the spirit out of it by applying a lighted paper to the saucepan; put the roasted lemon and spice into the wine; stir it up well, and let it stand near the fire ten minutes. Rub a few knobs of sugar on the rind of a lemon, put the sugar into a bowl or jug, with the juice of half a lemon (not roasted), pour the wine into it, grate in some nutmeg, sweeten it to the taste, and serve it up with the lemon and spice floating in it.

Mrs Beeton offered another variation:

Hot Punch
1/2 pint of brandy
1/2 pint of rum
1 pint boiling water
2 or 3oz loaf sugar
1 large lemon
A pinch of ground cinnamon
A pinch of grated nutmeg
A pinch of cloves

Remove the rind of the lemon by rubbing it with some of the sugar. Put the whole of the sugar, the cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, brandy, rum and boiling water into a stewpan, heat gently by the side of the fire, but do not let it approach boiling point. Strain the lemon juice into a punch bowl, add the hot liquid and serve.

~Anna Selby, The Victorian Christmas

The 6th December was also the date that the Boy Bishop was elected and he would hold his position from the Feast of St Nicholas to the Feast of the Holy Innocents, or Childermas Day, on 28th December. In Medieval times, he would be found in every cathedral and many boys’ schools. At Salisbury Cathedral, the service of the Boy Bishop was printed and set to music and, according to Chambers, ‘It seems to have constituted literally a mimic transcript of the regular episcopal functions … The actors in this solemn farce were composed of the choristers of the church, and must have been well drilled in the parts which they were to perform. The boy who filled the character of bishop, derived some substantial benefits from his tenure of office, and is said to have had the power of disposing of such prebends as fell vacant during the period of his episcopacy. If he died in the course of it, he received the funeral honours of a bishop, and had a monument erected to his memory, of which latter distinction an example may be seen on the north side of the nave of Salisbury Cathedral.’

While the rise of Protestantism was to stamp out the practice in churches and cathedrals, it survived into the Nineteenth Century in at least one school, albeit somewhat changed in form. At Eton, the Eton Montem (literally translated from the Latin as ‘to the mount’) ceremony was celebrated in the early years of Victoria’s reign. The scholars would dress in military rather than ecclesiastical uniforms, proceed to Salt Hill (the mount), dine and process back to Eton. During the procession boys in fancy dress would accost passers-by and demand tribut for their captain. They usually made a considerable sum, occasionally as much as £1,000 and the captain would have enough for his university career. The ceremony was finally abolished in 1847.

Salisbury Cathedral has recently revived the Boy Bishop and the head chorister ascends the Bishop’s throne in a reconstruction of the medieval ceremony. According to the Cathedral it takes place: ‘during the singing of the Magnificat with its revolutionary proclamation “God has put down the mighty from their throne and has exalted the humble and meek”. The ceremony is a lesson in humility and recognition of the wisdom of youthful innocence.’

~Anna Selby, The Victorian Christmas

Making the Christmas pudding was not a purely culinary affair. It was hedged around with traditions and superstitions. The mixture would be stirred by everyone in the house, eyes closed while they made a wish. The stirring had to go in a clockwise direction or the wish would not be granted. During the stirring, the cook would add the charms that would be found in someone’s piece of the pudding on Christmas Day. The usual trinkets included a ring, a coin (usually a silver farthing) and a thimble. When the diners ate their pudding, the one who found a ring could expect a wedding, the coin symbolised the gaining of wealth and the thimble meant – depending on the interpretation – either a life of blessedness or spinsterhood.

There is some debate over where the tradition of trinkets in the pudding began. The Victorians were certainly the first people to use them in the spherical Christmas pudding – as they invented it. However, the custom of hiding a charm in a cake is a pagan one and goes back to Twelfth Night Cake. The charm hidden in the Twelfth Night Cake was a bean and the lucky finder became the king of Twelfth Night – whereby hangs another tale to be told.

~Anna Selby, The Victorian Christmas

Peacock curry anyone? Adam Edwards steps back into our culinary past to uncover the delicacies that graced our seasonal tables

I blame Charles Dickens. The gritty Victorian novelist must carry the can for the leftover carrion. It is he who is responsible for turkey curry.

It was, after all, Dickens who, in his book A Christmas Carol, arranged for Scrooge to give a festive turkey to Bob Cratchit. And, by doing so, it was Dickens who established the gobbler as the season of goodwill’s gastronomic regalement. If it hadn’t been for the 19th-century scribbler, our seasonal fare might still be roast swan. And we would certainly have been feasting on frumenty.

Frumenty was a sort of porridge for high days and holidays made from husked wheat with a bit of milk and honey chucked in. In the 18th and early 19th century every county had its own variation of the festive dish. In Lincolnshire they added nutmeg, in Suffolk it was cinnamon, while a Staffordshire frumenty had nutmeg and cinnamon as well as eggs, sweet peppers and a bay leaf.

But I digress. It was the ‘prize turkey’, the big one that hung in the butcher’s window to draw the customers in and which was ‘twice the size of Tiny Tim’, that Scrooge bought for Cratchit. Since then turkey has been our Christmas centrepiece. In the 1800s, Mrs Beeton, author of the Book of Household Management and Every Day Cookery and Housekeeping, writes about it as ‘a noble dish’, adding that 25 December ‘would scarcely be a Christmas dinner without it’.

By World War II, turkey was so well established as the seasonal repast that when rationing was introduced (and the birds were in short supply) much of the population mocked up a Christmas turkey out of mutton.

It was the Roman bon-viveur Marcus Apicius who, in 354AD, makes the earliest reference to a Christmas feast. He mentions mulled wine, baked ham, squash and fig cakes and for his Caesarean spin on roast turkey, he suggests ostrich brain.

Unfortunately, ostriches were, even then, not native to the UK. On the other hand, we had forests full of wild boar. In medieval times it was the ‘yule boar’, with its head as the main table decoration, that was the speciality of the season. Trimmings included a Christmas pudding made of meat, oatmeal and spices wrapped in the gut of a pig. And there were mince pies – Henry V was a great fan and served them at his coronation in 1413 – filled with chicken, partridge, pigeon, hare, capon, pheasant, rabbits, ox or tongue and mixed with fruits, peels and sugar. They were often cooked in an oblong dish, with a centre that frequently caved in, making them look like a crib. Appropriately, they were known as ‘Christmas pyes’.

Soon Britain was beginning to celebrate the 12 days of Christmas in a way that we might recognise today. By the middle of the 16th century, the traditional Christmas roast – for the rich, anyway – was swan. Food and Drink in Britain author, C Anne Wilson, writes in 2000: ‘Those who were not in the swan-eating class had goose or chicken.’ Those who wanted something even more exotic had peacock, which was skinned, cooked and then returned to its skin and feathers. Then, in 1588, Elizabeth I ordered all Englishmen to eat goose for their Christmas dinner, as that was what she had been tucking into when she learned that the navy had beaten the Spanish Armada. This was also the year that the first recorded Brussels sprout was used as a trimming.

By the 18th century the mince pie had evolved into the bite-sized treat we know today, with suet replacing meat. Cheddar cheese was popular, sugar had arrived and puddings were mostly of the frumenty type. In Florence White’s cookery book Good Things in England (1932), there is a recipe for King George I’s Christmas Pudding that contains not only candied oranges and lemons but brandy and lots of plums.

Christmas was by now a well-established festival and Jane Austen in Persuasion (1818) talks of ‘the weight of brawn and cold pies’ on the Christmas table, while Michelle Hoppe, who has written about the Regency Christmas Feast, says dinner was served at 4pm and ‘roast beef and venison were the mainstays, supported by goose’. There was also, she says, Christmas pudding, gingerbread and the wassail bowl – a mixture of beer, sherry, sugar and spices. There was a parlour game in which raisins were soaked in brandy and put in a shallow bowl. The lights were turned out, the brandy lit and players had to try and grasp a raising and eat it without burning themselves.

Then Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol. Turkeys had existed in Britain since the 17th century, but when Queen Victoria came to the throne in 1837, it was too expensive for most people. In southern England goose was traditional; in the north, roast beef was preferred. And on Christmas Day 1840 Queen Victoria and her family tucked into beef and roast swan.

The year after the publication of A Christmas Carol, the Westminster Review condemned it for its ignorance of political economy and the laws of supply and demand. It argued that, ‘if Bob Cratchit got a turkey, then, unless there was a surplus, someone else must have gone without’.

But it was too late to stop the rise and rise of the ubiquitous festive bird. In 1851 Queen Victoria settled down to her first Christmas turkey dinner and one-and-a-half centuries later the nation complains about post-Christmas turkey leftovers. Dickens may have known about the ghosts of Christmas Past but he might not have written the book quite so lightly if he’d realised he was going to subject future generations to so much old, cold Christmas repast.

When it comes to Christmas, they do things a little differently in Iceland. From candlelit graveside vigils to juvenile delinquent trolls, it’s a magical celebration of this world and the next.

The gravestones are covered with candles and lights as far as the eye can see. It’s a magical sight and, some might say, a little eerie too. And yet this scene will be played out across the graveyards of Iceland throughout the festive season.

On Christmas Eve, the people of Iceland make a pilgrimage to visit the graves of loved ones and adorn their resting places with illuminating and uplifting decorations.

‘The dead are part of us. So it’s only natural we’d want to celebrate Christmas with them,’ explains fisherman Thorfinnur Stefansson, 28, from Vestmannaeyjar on the island of Heimaey, just off the Icelandic mainland, which hosts particularly fiery festivities. Although we’re officially Christian and so aren’t likely to admit it, deep in our hearts we all think the dead are still with us. Nobody in Iceland really dies; they just move to Hulduheimar.’

Hulduheimar – Icelandic for ‘The Hidden World’ – is said to be a mystical land inhabited by the spirits of deceased family and friends, along with trolls, dwarves, elves, fairies and giants, collectively known as ‘The Hidden Folk’.

‘For Icelanders, Christmas is about being together. We involve our dead ancestors by lighting up their graves and thinking about them. They’re a part of our lives, too – if only because we know that we’ll see them again in Hulduheimar,’ explains Kristin Olafsdottir, 26, a make-up artist from Reykjavik. ‘I didn’t realise the Icelandic Christmas tradition was that special until I started living in the United States as an exchange student,’ says Kristin. ‘The American way of celebrating Christmas seemed so superficial and commercial. To me it wasn’t Christmas at all.’

The world of Hulduheimar, say the Icelanders, is invisible to the human eye and is located in the volcanic lava landscapes that lie underneath Iceland’s rugged terrain.

Indeed, Iceland is one of the most volcanically active countries in the world. Hekla, in the south of Iceland, has erupted no fewer than 16 times. And the fact that the island is also full of waterfalls and green valleys only adds to its fantastical atmosphere.

‘The weather has a tremendous influence on us, because it’s so extreme and powerful,’ says Thorfinnur. ‘The continuous threat of storms, the special light, the long, vicious winters – there’s no escaping a belief in the powers of nature.’

In December and January, the sun rises at around 10am and starts setting at 4pm. But since Iceland’s northern coast is just below the Arctic Circle, its winters aren’t just dark, they’re bitterly cold too, forcing people to stay at home much of the time.

Traditionally storytelling is how people passed the time and, as a result, Icelandic people have become masters at it.

Modern Icelanders are mostly descendants of pagan Norwegian Vikings, who emigrated in the ninth century to avoid overpopulation in Norway, as well as its tyrannical ruler, Harold the Fair-Haired. One belief that’s been passed down through the centuries is in Gryla, which literally means ‘monster’, and her 13 sons, the jolasveinarnir, all of whom live in Hulduheimar. Gryla is a child-eating, which-like mother troll. The jolasveinarnir, which translates as ‘Christmas boys’, descend into towns and villages one by one for the 13 days before Christmas Eve to haul naughty children back to Hulduheimar to be eaten by their evil mother.

Arni Bjornsson, the former head of the ethnological department of the National Museum in Reykjavik, says: ‘Until the Middle Ages in Iceland, some babies were left outside to die, because people just didn’t have any food for them. Perhaps that’s where the idea of taking the children to Hulduheimar comes from. It is, after all, a kind of underworld.’

The myth of Gryla retains a powerful influence today. From 12 December each year, Icelandic children put one of their shoes on a windowsill in the early evening. If they’ve been good, one of the jolasveinarnir will leave a little present inside – usually sweets. Naughty children will find only a potato or even a small replica of Gryla’s cauldron to remind them where they could end up.

Traditionally, her jolasveinarnir sons were believed to be dressed in rags, but nowadays they’re often seen in fancy dress, such as the red and white Santa costume, a custom the Icelanders have inherited from America. With names like Kertasnikir (Candle-stealer), Pottasleikir (Pot-licker) and Bjugnakraekir (Sausage-grabber), they’re each named for their particular vice. So whenever something goes wrong during Christmas, it’s thought to be down to one of Gryla’s troublesome sons.

Only young Icelandic children believe in Gryla and her children, until doubt creeps in around the age of eight. Yet recent surveys have shown that as many as 80 per cent of Icelanders believe in elves. Even today, roads have been re-routed and building plans redesigned or abandoned to avoid disturbing the rocks where elves are said to live. Erla Stefansdottir, renowned as an elf expert because she claims to be able to see and talk to elves, says: ‘Iceland has a special relationship with elves. It’s a particular place where magic is bound up in the volcanic landscape.’

And once the biting cold of winter descends, Iceland becomes even more magical. Icelandic children don’t just get presents from the 13 sons of Gryla – their friends and family place gifts around the tree for them, too. And it’s very important that at least one of those presents is some new clothes. Tradition states that people who don’t receive any new clothes may be eaten by Gryla’s cat. On Christmas Eve she prowls across the snow and steals any children who’ve not had a present of clothing that year, regardless of how well the poor things might have behaved. British children should thank their lucky stars!

From Spirit & Destiny magazine

Having an environmental conscience doesn’t mean you can’t join in the seasonal shenanigans, says Lucy Siegle. Here’s how to have an eco Christmas with all the trimmings.

When it comes to Christmas I’m caught between a rock and a hard place – or, more precisely, trapped between my ecological conscience and a zillion twinkling fairy lights. My compromise is to find a way of having my organic Christmas cake and eating it too.

As I’m still not grown up enough to have my own Christmas (I just can’t cook like my mum!), I lose points for moving my husband and two dogs down to my parents’ house in the West Country. I don’t own a car, so this necessitates the loan of a car-club car (www.citycarclub.co.uk) and therefore some carbon emissions – the dogs make it impossible to catch a train! Some people pay into a scheme to offset their carbon footprint and ‘give something back’. I’ve yet to find a convincing one, but I will attempt to offset some of my festive guilt by making a donation to an environmental charity such as WWF (www.wwf.org.uk) or to the homelessness charity crisis (www.crisis.org.uk).

My parents and I sing from the same eco hymn sheet, so they don’t mind me giving the tree a green makeover – my trick is to get as many recycled products on there as possible. I’ll be arriving with decorations made from old CDs (£3.99 from www.cutouts.net). They sparkle and say, ‘I’m a great recycler.’

As for the tree, my parents are lucky to live on the edge of a woodland, so ours will be top growth from an existing tree. Otherwise, the key is to get a UK tree from a local grower (visit www.christmastree.org.uk for a list) and not a plastic one imported from China.

This year, lots of people will be having a plastic bag-free Christmas (organised by www.wearewhatwedo.org) and I’ll be joining them. All you have to do is turn down plastic bags whenever possible, and instead have a canvas tote handy to carry your purchases in. This takes its lead from the successful campaign in Modbury, Devon, where the residents have shunned plastic bags all year round. It’s shocking that we get through over 10 billion a year in in the UK.

The statistics surrounding Christmas in this country are extraordinary: ten million turkeys will be consumed and 744 million Christmas cards will be sent. I can never bring myself to send emailed cards as it seems so impersonal, so I’m opting for recycled cards printed with vegetable inks, from www.greencardcompany.co.uk. As a nation, we also get through enough wrapping paper to cover Guernsey. Not in our house! We’re big advocates of the decorated box. I collect nice boxes all year round, and with a bit of decorating using reclaimed wrapping paper, paint or fabric, they might even end up being more loved than the gifts themselves.

My attempts at green gifts are getting better. I don’t want to give the game away completely, but I’ll be opting for urban-eco stocking fillers from the Hemp Trading Company, perfect for teenagers (www.thtc.co.uk), fair-trade spices from Steenbergs (www.steenbergs.co.uk) for the foodies in my life, and girls love natural candles from eco-luxe fashion brand Ciel (www.ciel.ltd.uk). I’ll also be giving a lot of beauty products from Neal’s Yard Remedies (www.nealsyardremedies.com), where the ethos is on making things look pretty through minimal, natural wrapping.

I find that a Christmas where you have a handle on excess makes for less fallout in the New Year. For starters, you don’t end up with bags of rubbish lying around everywhere. We’ll have a couple of piles of neat recycling, and any food waste will be composted or go in the wormery. This is basically a tub or bin with worms in – you put in your kitchen waste, such as peelings, cooked and uncooked scraps, tea bags, even shredded newspaper, and it produces a strong, nutrient-rich liquid feed to use as an excellent plant food. Marks & Spencer is now selling them as part of a new green products range, priced £89 – why not put one on your Christmas list? Granted, it’s at the weirder end of the spectrum for gifts, but it’ll help you be green all year round.

Lucy Siegle writes for The Observer and is a presenter for The One Show on BBC1.

Does the thought of the spending season leave you jittery? Don’t panic, we can help you stay on budget.

Use your points!
Forgotten all about that Nectar card hiding in your purse? It could be a little goldmine with all the points you’ve been accumulating from your shops. Go to www.nectar.com and see what you can get for your points – books, music, days out or beauty products. Also, for discount vouchers, codes and offers for lots of different retailers, sign up at www.myvouchercodes.co.uk.

Just buy for one
Keep it nice and simple with a ‘Secret Santa’. Get all your friends together and put everybody’s names into a hat. Then just buy a present for the person you pick out (agree a budget between you beforehand). That way, each person gets one really nice, really wanted present, rather than everyone ending up awash with bath salts.

Set a budget
Before you go anywhere near the shops or the internet, look at your finances and work out how much you can realistically afford to spend on presents in total. Then sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of who you’re buying for and a price guide for each person. Make sure you’re religious about sticking to your budget. It’s frightening how spending just a couple of extra pounds here and there can soon take you seriously over your limit.

Give time
‘This is an ideal gift for older relatives,’ says financial expert Jasmine Birtles from www.moneymagpie.com. ‘Think of something you’re good at (manicures, cooking, gardening) and give it as a gift. You can even make a voucher to go with it.’

Buy second-hand
It’s amazing what you can find when you have a good rummage in charity shops – they’re bursting with fantastic clothes, homeware, books and music. You just need a bit of time and patience. Oxfam’s specialist shops (vintage and retro clothing and accessories/books/CDs) are well worth checking out: go to www.oxfam.org.uk.

Make DIY gifts
Take your cue from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, who reportedly made all their Christmas presents last year. For heaps of clever and gorgeous ideas, see Homemade Gifts by Nicki Trench (Collins & Brown, £9.99).

Treat children only
If you have a big family – a handful of brothers and sisters and lots of nephews and nieces – Christmas can be an alarmingly expensive time of year. But don’t shy away from telling those you love that you’re on a tight budget; instead, suggest you all just buy for the kids this year. Alternatively, get each family one gift that they can all enjoy together – the latest board game, a luxury box of chocolates or a DVD collection are all good choices.

Squirrel away pennies and pounds
‘Decide on a coin denomination – say £2 – and every time you get one, put it in a jar or a piggy bank, and use whatever you save to contribute towards buying your Christmas presents,’ says Jasmine Birtles. ‘It’s obviously best to do this as early in the eyar as possible, but start now and the coins will soon add up.’

Club together
If your husband has set his sights on the latest all-singing, all-dancing digital camera and your sister is desperate for a designer handbag, think about pooling family resources. Get everyone to sign up at www.whatidlove.co.uk, where families can compile their own Christmas wish list, choosing gifts from any website they like. Once you have their list number, you can choose something to buy; if it’s something expensive, you can make a contribution of as little as £5.

Get paid to shop
Yes, really! You can earn money when you shop by joining cashback websites such as www.cashbackkings.com. This site is linked to more than 2,000 retailers, including Sainsbury’s, Sweaty Betty, Karen Millen, The White Company and Kurt Geiger, where you can get anything from 5% to 50% cashback. It takes a few weeks for the money to go into your Cashback Kings account, but once it’s there, you can transfer it to your bank account.

~Christina Quaine

When it comes to partying, there’s a fine line between charming and alarming. Relationship expert Jenni Trent Hughes explains how to flirt nicely

Every January my inbox is flooded with frantic letters from people scared to return to work because of something that went slightly wrong at a Christmas party. They run the gamut from ‘How was I to know she was the boss’s wife?’ to ‘I only asked him in for coffee. Where was the harm in that?’ We can blame fancy frocks and lethal cocktails but it’s usually the result of mixed signals and crossed wires. We spend the year with our heads down, not talking to strangers, then comes December and a year’s worth of flirtatious chatter comes pouring out in a mad rush.

As a society we seem to feel that flirting is unacceptable. Centuries ago Dr Johnson defined a flirt as ‘a pert hussy’ and since then we’ve decried flirting as a most despicable act.

‘She is such a flirt!’ is usually said with the venom reserved for the person who has just snapped up the last pair of market-down Jimmy Choos in your size. In countries such as Italy flirting is considered an artform. In the US accomplished flirts are often referred to as charismatic. The Irish are among the most accomplished in the world, yet cross that pool of water and a virtue becomes a vice. Here, flirting hints at lying, deception and trying to obtain under false pretences. Someone is saying something they probably don’t mean because they’re after something. You don’t want to give this ’something’ of your own free will but these despicable folk are going to flirt it out of you.

Let’s be clear, there are two types of flirting: with innocence and with intent. One is perfectly permissible and has nothing to do with sex. The other is sometimes inappropriate and has much to do with sex.

Flirting with innocence is showing someone what you appreciate and like about them. Nothing more, nothing less. Stick to this definition and you can see that flirting of this sort can be done with everyone from your best friend’s 70-year-old auntie to the 10-year-old boy across the street. Innocent flirting crosses gender boundaries, age groups and has no sexual connotations. Everyone has at least one thing about him or her of interest. A true flirt knows how to identify this and reflect it to that person, which then leaves the flirtee feeling better about themselves for having connected with you. It used to be referred to as being charming.

Flirting with intent is the art of showing someone what you appreciate and like about them while introducing the possibility of a sexual element to the relationship.

One of the best things you can learn is how to spot who is being friendly and who is flirting with intent. Then decide if you’re amenable to their intent. If you are, then all systems go; if not, remove yourself from the situation. If you know there is intent behind the flirting and you don’t immediately state a lack of interest, then you are playing a game that is no better than theirs.

Now that you know the differences in flirting it’s easy to determine the where and when. If you’re single, you have a much wider choice: flirt with whomever you like, wherever you like, whenever you like – within reason, of course. The boss’s husband at the Christmas party is a bit of a no-no.

If you’re in a relationship, then your behaviour should be more circumspect. And be honest with yourself that you aren’t pretending to be innocent when there is lightly veiled intent. There’s nothing more repulsive than someone slobbering in your ear, murmuring: ‘If only I weren’t married…’ Naughty, naughty. If you are in a relationship, there should be no flirting with intent. Ever. Yes, you and your partner might have agreed that it’s OK, but proceed at your own risk. I have dealt with many a couple who have fallen foul of this sort of behaviour. Set boundaries if you like but be very careful with this, too. Other people’s feelings are involved. I have come across couples who feel that touching and kissing others is a form of innocent flirting and totally OK. But what about the poor person who feels you are genuinely interested in them? How do they feel when, at the end of the party, you say, ‘Right, I’ll find my wife now, we should go before the babysitter gets tired’?

In a perfect world couples would be equally adept at flirting, have the same outlook and the same boundaries. These couples tend to be referred to as ‘those charming Widdly-Smythes’. However, often one is flirting wildly while the other sits patiently in the corner waiting for midnight to strike. By the time you’ve reached the stage of committed relationship, you know what sort of a flirt your partner is. You will also know if you can deal with it. Please, please don’t tell yourself: ‘He flirts now but I’m sure he’ll stop once we’re married.’ Famous last words. You need to take the person as you find them. Talk about it. Discuss whether it makes you uncomfortable, see if you can reach a compromise. Be wary of anyone who says ‘that’s just me’ or ‘it doesn’t mean anything’; this could spell trouble further down the road.

When do you stop flirting? You need to be quite clear in your head of your intentions. Do you want to spend a bit of a time indulging in pleasurable conversation with someone, anyone – or are you interested in a personal relationship with this person? It’s important that you know this before you start. It’s easier to start friendly then lead into intent, but a lot trickier to do the opposite. Be very clear about the signals you’re sending out – especially if you’re a woman.

You also need to be aware of how your attentions are being received. If the person is smiling, laughing and thanking you, then you’re on the right track. Is the person leaning in towards you, are they smiling, is there eye contact? Good signs. If the person is leaning away from you or squirming then that means your attentions are either too full on or not welcome, so stop and return the conversation to more neutral ground.

If you’ve been knocking back the booze, just go home and spare everyone the hassle of having to deal with you, and yourself the embarrassment of going to the job centre.

Flirting can be a great deal of fun, but like any other spice it should be used carefully and with a light hand.

Good flirting
1. Find something to compliment. Avoid comments with sexual overtones. ‘You have such a lovely smile’ is preferable to ‘That top fits you really well’.
2. Listen to what the person is saying and ask questions. This lets them know that you are interested in their views and in them as a person rather than a faceless commodity.
3. Nod while listening and smile. This makes people feel comfortable and that you are in sync.
4. Find out the person’s status early in the conversation. ‘Are you here with a partner?’ or something similar. This way you aren’t making advances to the husband of Miriam in human resources.
5. If it seems the person is interested, introduce the idea of a future meeting. This will abolish the notion that you’re just hitting on them for a night of fun. The response you get will also help gauge if there is any interest.

Baaad flirting
1. Under no circumstances touch the person. Some people suggest this as a good way to let people know your intentions. I most certainly do not agree.
2. Do not invade their personal space. Arm’s length is fine; a smidgen closer if the venue is noisy. Many a possible friendship has ended before it’s begun after leaning in on someone you’ve only just met.
3. Do not lie. ‘Oh no, I’m single’, then two minutes later Bob from accounting saunters over and says: ‘I thought your wife was coming tonight…’ Could earn you a slap.
4. Watch your language. For some reason many people feel that sexual innuendo, racy stories or ‘dirty’ talk is the way to someone’s heart or bed. Usually not so. Subtlety is the key.
5. Don’t advertise something that you have no intention of delivering.

Your Goddess Message

Mostly A: Nut, the sky goddess
Often called the goddess of the skies, Nut was known for her incredible beauty and kindness. If she’s floated into your life today, then her message is one of benevolence and courage. Nut was the granddaughter of the Sun god Ra. Her body was adorned with stars, and her arms and legs were believed to be the great pillars that supported the sky. Like this stunning goddess, you have an exuberance that shines. You need to be loved, and you crave attention. Your generosity of spirit draws people to you, and you have many friends. A big softy at heart, you are incredibly sensitive to the needs of others, but that also means you are easily hurt. Off-hand remarks cut deep, even though you don’t always show it. You seek reassurance from those around you, and are at your happiest when everyone is getting along. You adore the good things in life, from fine food and wine, to the best in clothes and creature comforts.

Work with Nut and learn to love yourself. When you need reassurance and courage, visualise yourself draped in a magical cloak of sparkling stars. The cloak protects you from hurtful comments, and it enhances your natural beauty. Picture a ladder stretching from the ground up into the night sky. Now see your dreams as stars; climb the ladder until you reach the highest, brightest star. Hold it in your hands and repeat the affirmation: ‘I am a shining star, I make my dreams come true!’

Nut is associated with: Stars, the sky, the underworld
Magical symbols: Star, ladder, cow

Mostly B: Bast, the cat goddess
If you’ve picked mostly B, then Bast is your goddess and her independent spirit and flexibility calls to you today. Bast was the daughter of Ra. The Egyptians believed that in the day this beautiful goddess would ride through the sky with her father and by night she would transform into a cat and protect Ra from the evil serpent Apep. Just like Bast, you are a free spirit. You know what you want and how to get it. You embrace your femininity and know exactly how to use your charms to win people over. You have an army of admirers, but you tend to keep them at arm’s length. An ideas person, you are inventive and resourceful. You like to have fun, and if that means partying to the wee small hours, then that’s what you’ll do. You enjoy the company of men and women, and you’re particularly protective of your close friends.

If Bast has stepped into your world today, then the message is clear: accept your feline gifts. Make the most of your inherent ability to adapt to situations. Stretch your comfort zone and try something new. You work best at night, so take up an evening class. Bast was known for her all-seeing eye, which could penetrate the darkness. Develop your own third eye. Light a black candle, take a bowl of water and let your gaze probe its depths. Don’t force anything, let the images and impressions come to you and make a note of them. Burn catnip to help you relax and carry a handful in a charm bag – this will boost your confidence and also help you connect with others. Remember, there’s a time to be independent and a time to open your heart.

Bast is associated with: Music, dance, pleasure, women, fertility and protection
Magical symbols: The cat, the ‘all-seeing eye’

Mostly C: Sekhmet, the lion-headed goddess
Sekhmet is a mighty goddess not to be trifled with, often depicted with the head of a lioness and the slender body of a woman. Sekhmet was goddess of passion and vengeance and her mission was to protect good and destroy all evil. She is the wrathful side of the goddess Hathor, and was called on by Ra to annihilate his enemies. If you hear Sekhmet’s roar today, she is telling you to stand up for what you believe in, have faith, and listen to your heart. Like Sekhmet, you have the power to achieve great things. You are strong and courageous. Led by your emotions, your fiery nature means you react to things quickly. You think on your feet and enjoy the adrenalin rush of trying new things. You are hungry for experiences and there’s nothing you enjoy more than a challenge! Some say you are headstrong and stubborn, but the flip side of this is your remarkable determination to succeed. Intelligent and opinionated, you enjoy a good debate and you nearly always win! To quell Sekhment’s appetite for destruction, Ra mixed pomegranate juice with beer and smeared it on the battlefield. Sekhmet drank the mixture, thinking it was blood, and it made her forget her killing spree.

Tap into Sekhmet when you need strength and stamina. Wear red for confidence, as this powerful goddess was often pictured in red flowing robes. Softer shades of rose and pink will help you connect with the compassionate side of your nature. Sekhmet was associated with fire and energy. Try this visualisation for inspiration: imagine you are standing in a circle of fire, the flames reach upwards until they tower above you; look into their smouldering depths – what do you see? Let the warmth of the flames embrace you, and remember to pass this warmth on to those you meet.

Sekhmet is associated with: Vengeance, retribution, passion, fire and the colour red
Magical symbols: The eye of Ra, the Sun

Mostly D: Isis, the goddess of magic
The mother of life, Isis was a dazzling deity with a myriad of powers. Known as the goddess of magic, she had infinite wisdom and she used this to her advantage to gain the powers of Ra. She was the wife of Osiris and mother of Horus. She embodied the nurturing qualities of love and she was often associated with rebirth because she could bring the dead back to life. If Isis beckons you, then it is to challenge you to use your magical gifts, to extend your knowledge and use it to help others. Like Isis, you are an intuitive soul. You instinctively read situations and people, and relate to them easily. You are caring and strong, but also manipulative. With an eloquent turn of phrase you can seduce the hardest of hearts. You see the deeper meaning in things, and always seem to be searching for answers. You have an active, enquiring mind, and enjoy pondering big issues. Confident and capable, you turn heads when you enter a room, but despite outward appearances, you do have moments of insecurity. Your magic lies in your ability to tune into people and communicate at their level.

Work with Isis to increase your magical powers. A Moon goddess and a great sorceress, Isis lets her intuition guide her at all times. She was pictured wearing a throne upon her head. Visualise a golden lotus flower on the crown of your head. This is the gateway to your subconscious mind. Picture the petals of the flower opening. In the centre is a spinning blue orb; feel the healing blue light pass down into your forehaed and then on to the rest of your body, until you are totally at peace. Know that you can return to this state at any time, and particularly when you have to make decisions about the future. Burn cinnamon oil and ask Isis to help with your wishes for success.

Isis is associated with: Magic, wisdom, love and motherhood
Magical symbols: The Moon, the Knot of Isis

Mostly E: Ma’at, the goddess of truth
Ma’at was held in the highest regard. She was the goddess of truth, balance and order in all things. The Egyptians believed that without Ma’at’s calming influence, the world would be in chaos. Some say she was the wife of Thoth, god of wisdom and magic, and another daughter of Ra. If Ma’at has dropped a feather at your feet today, she is telling you to be still and grounded, to use your powers of perception at all times and remain true to yourself. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders and feel very deeply when it comes to matters of fairness. You hate injustice and do your best to help others in trouble. Your piercing stare can stop someone in their tracks because you see into the hearts of people and know their faults and failings. You have an analytical mind and can weigh up both sides of an argument. Good at planning, you follow things through to the end. You have a quiet determination and a smile that melts hearts. People mistake you for being shy and retiring, when in fact you are comfortable and very confident. You only let others see what they need to, preferring to keep some things to yourself and remain a strong, caring presence in the background.

Tap into the power of Ma’at when considering options or seeking solutions to problems. Like the scales with which she weighed the hearts of mortals, it’s important to maintain balance and harmony. See yourself at the centre of the scales; each side represents a different path. Visualise each path in turn; now picture a symbol to represent your choices. Place the symbols on the scales and see which choice outweighs the other. Ma’at was associated with the feather of truth – an ostrich feather that she used when making judgements about the dead. Collect feathers and use them to cleanse your aura. Take the feather and flick it in gentle movements around your body. Visualise your aura as a golden ring of light. Remember to be fair to yourself as well as others, and spend some time doing things you enjoy to restore the balance in your life.

Ma’at is associated with: Truth, justice, balance, harmony
Magical symbols: Feather of truth, scales of justice